Game of Thrones made it’s dramatic and long overdue return to our television screens last night, and wow, what an episode it was. My emotions were all over the place during the whole 59 minutes, going anywhere from jumping up and down with excitement, hitting my friend with a pillow out of amazement, almost shitting myself out of fear, and almost puking out of disgust.
Cersei once said, “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There’s no middle ground.” Well, Cersei, although you are fixated on the death of everyone, I’m not as intense as you. Instead, I’ll be ranking the winners and losers of Game of Thrones after every episode.
Without further ado, as Dany said at the end of “Dragonstone”, “Shall we begin?”
The famous ginger made an appearance as a Lannister soldier singing a song in the Riverlands while Arya passes by. Along with his companions, Sheeran invites Arya over to share their food and drink. While Sheeran’s cameo isn’t the first celebrity cameo in the show, it most definitely was the largest. Sheeran showed off some acting chops in this scene, positioned right next to Maisie Williams’ Arya. This cameo leaves me confused though. Was Sheeran’s last album, Divide, about Game of Thrones? Is Arya the Galway Girl? What castle is the Castle on the Hill? Is Sheeran the one who was promised, Azor Ahai reborn? Will a singer end up on the Iron Throne? So many questions that are unlikely to ever be answered.
It was an excellent episode for all of the remaining Stark family members. North of the Wall, Bran crossed the wall after having a spooky vision of the Night’s King’s army marching south. In Winterfell, Jon and Sansa weathered the storm, talking out their problems – to Lord Baelish’s dismay. And Arya kicked ass at the Towers, killing all the Frey’s and then hanging out with Ed Sheeran in the Riverlands.
Euron Greyjoy made his true grand entry to the Game of Thrones, proposing an alliance with Queen Cersei – oh how it pains me to say that – in what is left of King’s Landing. He was decked out in an outfit that can only be described as the closest thing to punk rock Westeros has ever seen. His garb didn’t seem to arouse Cersei, with Jamie lurking by her side, but Euron did at least get a chance to prove himself, and I’m sure we’ll be seeing him do some crazy stuff soon.
Sador Clegane, aka The Hound, has become one of the most developed characters in the Thrones universe. Rory McCan has done an incredible job bringing one of the best book characters to life on the big screen. This episode, he returns to a house where he left a father and his daughter to starve to death. This situation allowed for a very emotional moment for a guy with the reputation of being a monster. Of course, we already know from his journey with Arya, he has a troubled history. The root of that history is connected to his fear of fire as a result of his brother The Mountain, who held his face to the fire when they were growing up. The Hound confronts his fear of the fire in this episode, when Thoros of Myr, the Red Preist, urged him to look into the flames. What he saw was Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, the closest Night’s Watch castle to Hardhome. This is setting up the scene from the second trailer, where The Hound, Berric Dondarrion, Jon Snow, and more face off against an army of the dead.
Booze and Feasts
As mentioned above, Arya Stark wiped out the Frey’s in one fell swoop, poisoning their drink and delivering an enthralling speech while they died. While she did leave the women in the room, this basically wipes out the Frey family. The Frey’s have been hated for as long as this show has been on air, and seeing Arya take revenge in such a powerful way was such a fulfilling moment. Though what will happen with the Twins now is unclear, one thing is for sure: the Frey’s are no longer.
Lord Petyr Baelish is not getting what he wants in the North – and now we know what he wants. Sansa won their conversation in this episode, cutting off Baelish before he could get his final word in with a witty remark. Things are really looking down for the character that was previously climbing up the ladder. We could see him meet his end at the hands of the Starks very soon.
Gendry, Westeros’ gold medal rowing winner, lost this episode by default – because he wasn’t in it. If he wasn’t in the episode, it is more than likely that is still rowing, somewhere out near Dragonstone or King’s Landing. I hope for his sake he’s close to Dragonstone, because otherwise he could be part of the – if not the whole – gift Euron will offer Cersei. There is a power in King’s blood, and Cersei is just as aware as that as the Red Woman. Gendry is a loser this episode because he didn’t show, and he could be an even bigger loser if he does show up next episode.
Oh, Samwell, why can’t you play with swords and bows and arrows like the rest of the idiots in Westeros? Instead, you have to go and be smart, and study at the Citadel. But instead of learning, you’re emptying chamber pots and serving what looks like that same shit, for dinner. And when Jon sent you away to learn all you could about Dragonglass and the White Walkers, you didn’t think it would be important to mention that Stannis told you about the mountain of Dragonglass on Dragonstone? C’mon man, I thought you were smart. Oh, and I hope you don’t become Tom Riddle aka Lord Voldemort.
Do you have any other winners and losers of this episode? Let us know in the comments section! And don’t forget to “like” us on Facebook, and “follow” us on Twitter and Instagram!